AI: Artifically Intelligent

TinyURL'd

In the wake of my fanfic-esque piece the other day, I thought I should go watch a good ol sci-fi again. At first, I saw none at the rental store, but low and behold, AI was there. Yipee!

Have asked me yesterday and I would have sworn I actually saw the entire movie before. I liked it and it was great. But take note of my strategic use of past-tenses in that sentence.

This thing is horrible.

The first bit was really cute, with the kid and his ‘mother’ and all that jazz. When the real son came back alive I was as surprised as when my poo this morning fell into the toilet, and didn’t actually bypass all laws of physics and start to fly and talk and write Shakespeare in 10 minutes. That is where it really went downhill. I though it was all sad and crap when she dropped her kid off in the forest with the creepy Teddy bear.

And then he met this damn… robot American Gladiator/ Mad Max crap-fest.

And then some retarded step-brother of Blade Runner up until he meets his ‘father’ and he gets mad and jumps out the building and gets pulled up the the Gigolo fucker.

And then when the dudes try to pick em up, they forget that David is a robot as well and magnets don’t effect him.

So he goes and drives his sub to the ‘Blue Fairy’ and sits there for 2000 years. And after 2000 years no building has been destroyed. Look at any of the shit from Ancient Greece and shit, that is a bit less than perfect condition, and only a bit more than 2000 years.

So these alien robot things revive his mom from a 2000 year old lock of hair that a creepy robot-teddy bear was carrying around.

I was actually yelling and swearing and mocking the movies sexuality, to the point that I decided, rather explicitly, why DVDs have holes in them.

It would seem that I am not the only one of this mentality. Although half the people I whined about this movie to called me an idiot and it was above my level of apparent intelligence, the other half (duh) agreed with me whole heatedly. Of that latter portion, David Schwartz (of Heckler Spray fame) actually had AI in his list of ‘The Eight Dullest Movies Of All TIme‘.

“This film was so mind-numbingly bad, we’ve spent the last 10 hours gnawing at my own hand to distract from the pain.”

And that makes me feel good, because the opinion of Internet polls is more important than those IRL chumps…

Tags: ai, Movies, rant